


never is a lonely little messed up word

by countingpaperstars



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute Persona 5 Protagonist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countingpaperstars/pseuds/countingpaperstars
Summary: He wants to scream – wants to claw the words out where they’ve wrapped their thorns in his throat. No one will listen, he thinks, no one ever has.Wrong.Ryuji listens, even when Akira has nothing to say.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 30
Kudos: 406





	never is a lonely little messed up word

**Author's Note:**

> Don't mind me, just been binge playing the game and this idea swooped into my head. Title is from Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack.
> 
> Enjoy!

There are days where Akira’s words disappear.

He isn’t sure what causes it. He just knows that sometimes it feels like there’s a wall between him and everyone else – like his voice is stuck and can’t work free. 

Somehow he manages to navigate through the school day unscathed, dodging teachers and students alike as he hurries out the front gates. His phone dings with another IM – Ryuji probably, or perhaps Ann, asking about the next palace.

With a nod at Sojiro, Akira sets up shop in an empty booth to start studying. Exams are coming in hot and he doesn’t want poor grades to settle in on top of everyone else’s judgement of him.

An hour passes, maybe two, when the bell above the door jingles.

“Yo.”

Glancing over, Akira pushes up his glasses to hide his nerves. It’s Ryuji, brow furrowed as he slides in across the booth. He doesn’t say anything, merely folds his hands on the table between them and studies Akira closely.

“You okay?” he asks, finally. “You ran out of school pretty fast.”

Akira’s heart stutters, grip tightening on his pencil. It’s one question. He can answer one question, right? He goes to speak, but nothing comes out. He wonders what others think of him – a robot putting out answers designed to please – and shuts his mouth with a click.

He hates the knowing look in Ryuji’s eyes, feels the shame coiling deep in his gut, and looks away.

A hand covers his own, Ryuji’s grip warm, as he asks, “One of those days, huh?”

It’s an understatement. Usually, he manages to avoid anyone until his words come back. His own parents never even noticed. Or if they did, they weren’t concerned enough to bring it up. The trial stole the rug beneath his feet all together – what use were his words when no one listened at all? Akira gets as far as a shrug before Ryuji is up and tugging at his hand.

“C’mon,” he says. “That’s enough studying for today.”

He doesn’t let go, even as Akira shoves his things in his bag with one hand. They head upstairs and Sojiro barely gives them another glance before turning back to his paper.

“I got this new movie. It’s terrible,” says Ryuji as he throws his school bag on the table. He lets go then, toeing off his sneakers and moving to the TV to put the disc in.

Akira watches him putter about as if it were his own room, comfortably flopping onto the bed. Ryuji looks up, patting the spot next to him in invitation.

The room narrows, constricting, as Akira opens his mouth again. He tries his hardest, but nothing comes out. He wants to scream – wants to claw the words out where they’ve wrapped their thorns in his throat. No one will listen, he thinks, no one ever has. 

_Wrong._

Ryuji listens, even when Akira has nothing to say.

Even now, he’s sat on the bed as the title screen music loops over, patiently waiting for Akira to pull himself together. He tilts his head with a frown and pats the bed again.

Akira sighs, and slouches into his spot, curling up his legs beneath him as he does. Without hesitating, Ryuji pulls him in close, arm wrapped tight around his shoulders.

The movie starts and they watch, but Akira realizes halfway through that he has no idea what’s going on. Instead he listens to the rain pattering against the windows and relishes the constant warmth of Ryuji’s side pressed against his. Akira hesitates, then slowly drops his head into the crook of Ryuji’s neck. It’s more comfortable, though he wonders if he chose wrong when Ryuji’s breath hitches. He doesn’t say anything, so they keep on watching.

Akira doesn’t notice dozing off, only coming to as the title menu loops again. He blinks, realizing his glasses have been set aside.

Outside, the sun has set low behind the buildings, casting everything in twilight shadow. When he glances up, Ryuji’s profile is cut blue in the light of the TV, eyes glassy and cheeks stained pink in the low light.

He blinks once, twice, then glances over and offers a sheepish grin. “Better?”

Akira nods, then picks his head off Ryuji’s shoulder. He dredges up anything he can from the depths locked within him and finds the strength to whisper, “Sorry.”

“Hey, none of that.”

Akira glances away and Ryuji tilts his chin until their eyes meet. It’s startling how close he is, and Akira fights not to pull away out of instinct. The brown of his eyes is deep, sincerity bleeding through as Ryuji holds his gaze.

“There’s nothin’ to be sorry for,” he says, firmly.

And Akira believes him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! What did you think?
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/countpaperstars) | [writing blog](http://countingpaperstars.tumblr.com) | [tumblr](http://thenameisfame.tumblr.com)


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